What’s Up at The Zone
Upcoming Excitement/Events/ Special Hours
We knew that you were experiencing high degrees of irritability, some serious discontent, and even periods of genuine lonely isolation at being deprived of the real news and updates from the ZONE. Well, your problems are solved, not all of your problems of course; in fact compared to the rest of the problems you may have, solving these few could seem rather insignificant. Nevertheless, below you will find an ever-changing selection of tasty morsels to keep you informed of the events, both real and imagined, occurring at ULTRAZONE San Diego.
DOUBLE Endurance Set For Sunday, August 31st- 10:00pm AND 11:00pm
OMG– TWO chances to play 60 solid minutes of laser tag at ULTRAZONE for only $20.00 per game the night before the Labor Day holiday. Some players are signing up to play both games- now that is serious endurance.
NOTE: Formal sign-ups and CASH PRE-PAYMENT are required for all Endurance games. Sorry, absolutely no refunds!
College Sororities and Fraternities- “MAKE US A DEAL WE CAN’T REFUSE!”
For years, college Greeks have been using ULTRAZONE as a venue for “Rush Events,” “Bid Nights,” “Date Nights” etc. We are well aware of the starving student issue at college–you want to have a great chapter night out, but money is always tight- so go ahead and MAKE US AN OFFER WE CAN’T REFUSE! We know this sounds crazy but we’re encouraging you to just tell us what you think is reasonable in your House budget and we can go from there. Remember we’ve hosted events with over 100 players so we’ll be able to accommodate your entire group.
Thursday Night is “College Night” at the ZONE
Also, since Thursday seems to be party night for you, we are starting “Thursday College Night”. Every Thursday, we are providing a “BUY 2 GAMES & GET 1 FREE” for all college students- you’ll just need to show an ID and then complain how hard you worked in classes all week and plead with us that you deserve a cool deal.
LATE NIGHT AT THE ZONE”- Friday and Saturday Midnight to 2:00am
A San Diego mainstay for the late night crowd, with a reduced price of $6.50 per game. Players start lining up around 11:30-11:45 to be part of the Late Night scene- see you this weekend!
Carpe PM…Seize the Night- Corporate Groups “Own the ZONE”
The business community continues to turn to the nocturnal world of ULTRAZONE for their major event needs. Our corporate event and teambuilding program has really reached new levels of popularity. We continue to be flattered by the letters of appreciation and complimentary comments that come our way.
ULTRAZONE Is A “Gum Free” ZONE
After removing more gum from the lobby and briefing room carpet than you could even possibly imagine (we’re talking many hundreds of ugly carpet gum messes each year), we’ve decided that WE’RE DONE WITH GUM. That’s right you and your gum will have to part company BEFORE you enter ULTRAZONE. There’s a really nice, large cement trash receptacle near the front door, so just gear yourself up to spit that bad boy into the can.
Of course we’re never really been able to understand why anyone would spit their gum onto the carpet anyway, but we do have a few theories
The “Chewing Gum Challenged” Theory.
In their early development, these poor folk never learned to keep items in their mouth while chewing, certainly a true tragedy. Consequently, gum and other foodstuffs just fly out of their mouths depositing on other people or objects or ultimately the floor. It is unknown whether this malady is a problem with poor childrearing or a genetic anomaly.
The “Hostile Gum Chewer-It Sucks To Be You” Theory.
Now these are the more aggressive and angry gum chewers. They get great pleasure thinking about the ULTRAZONE staff that clean up their gum. They find the best location they can, and then they spit their gum onto the designated carpet target area and then immediately press the gum into the carpet with their foot. Obviously from abusive gum chewing households, they continue the abusive pattern into public places.
The “Duh, What Happened to My Gum” Theory.
Perhaps the most heart rendering theory, these unfortunate chewers have no memory of what happened to their gum- sort of a brain-mouth disconnect if you will. They are shocked to find that they are no longer chewing the gum that was, at a prior moment, in their mouths. They simply no longer have a lucid connection to the gum chewing moment. This is a form of amnesia caused by a trauma to the head or by just being a moron
The “Heathen/Raised by Wolves” Theory-
A product of a culture very foreign from one we typically see in normal society, this gum chewer can be recognized by a pattern of abnormal gum chewing. These sub-humans chew with mouths open and are known to “crack” their gum and then just spit it randomly onto the ground. The gum “cracking” is only recently recognized as a sub-vocal warning of territorial rights, much as the male gorilla beats his chest to signify dominance. Oblivious to others outside of their basic tool making society, attempts to get them to disengage from such practice are rarely successful and often met with aggressive posturing.
Bottom line is that gum chewing is pretty much a sickening and nasty habit!
So remember gum and ULTRAZONE don’t mix!